


The story formerly known as Christmas Cracker

by inbarati



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-15
Updated: 2010-04-15
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:30:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inbarati/pseuds/inbarati
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I apparently wrote this a while back, though I have no memory of it. I slapped an ending on it, and kinda liked it, so I thought I'd post.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The story formerly known as Christmas Cracker

Spike walked into the bar that had the name the Watchers had told him. One of their own had gone AWOL, and it was Spike they sent to bring him back into the fold. Vanuatu was hot in December, but Spike was still wearing black – jeans, tee, and boots. He sat down and ordered a pint, scanning the bar for someone Watcherly-like. They hadn't given him much of a description. He was surprised when someone sat down at the table across from him. He nearly dropped his beer when he saw who it was.

"I'm gonna take it from the look on your face, they didn't tell you it was me you were coming to pick up, huh?" Xander thumbed a bead of sweat from his cheekbone, right under the patch Spike knew he hated.

"No, no they didn't. Nobody told me they knew where you were. You just left, and no one would say anything about where you were." Spike made an effort to keep his voice steady and quiet, but inside he was screaming at the dark-haired man in front of him. "You'd have been gone for a year the twenty-first." Spike sighed and looked at the man on the other side of the table. Xander had aged considerably since Spike had seen him last. He must have done some hard living. "I don't suppose you're wanting to explain, yeah?"

"Actually, I do. You deserve an explanation." Xander glanced around. They were the focus of attention in the small, smoky bar. "Can we walk?" Without waiting for an answer, he headed for the door. Spike left some money he hoped was local on the table, and followed.

They walked in silence for quite some time, out of the small village and into the surrounding trees. It was dark, but Xander seemed to know the path very well. "This is how it happened, remember? The hellmouth in Brazil, trying to find it in the jungle?" Spike just nodded, not sure where this trip down memory lane was headed. "I was so happy. Weird feeling that, mid nigh apocalypse a bazillion and five. I'd never felt so safe as I did with you."

"What made London different? Didn't need me to keep you safe anymore? Wasn't convenient to tell the rest of the gang?" Spike couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"The gang knew already. Told Willow the second day. And London wasn't really any safer than the jungle." Xander sighed and shook his head. "Haven't felt safe since the last time I saw you."

"Why, then, Xander? Did I do something? Was there something I didn't give you that you needed? Or was I just a temporary convenience while you were away from civilization? What happened?" Spike knew he sounded like a fishwife, but after a year of not knowing, he figured he was entitled.

"Drusilla happened."

Spike waited for elaboration, but prodded when it didn't seem forthcoming. "Dru? What did Dru do?"

"She threatened me. Told me to stay away from you." Xander's voice was completely flat.

"You didn't trust me to take care of you." Spike sounded resigned.

"It wasn't my life she threatened me with, Spike. It was yours." Spike could smell the salt of tears, but Xander wasn't letting them fall, yet. "She said she could beat me home, if I went there, and I'd be greeted by your dust. So I went straight to the airport, bought the first ticket going anywhere far away, and stayed away."

"Sodding hell, Xander! Why didn't you tell me?" Spike grabbed Xander by the shoulders and shook him a little.

"I didn't want you to die." Xander said quietly, without looking up.

"Well, I'm here, and you're here, and neither of us is dead. Explain that."

"I killed her last night. She came to mock me, she's been doing it off and on, and I just couldn't take it, so I staked her, and cut the antlers off the chaos demon she was with. I know you want to kill me now, but I want you to know that I never stopped loving you. I never will."

Spike stood in front of Xander, and tilted his chin up. "Why didn't you just do that in the first place?"

Xander kept his eyes down. "I didn't want you to hate me."

Spike kissed him. "For a smart bloke, you're pretty dumb." When Xander just looked confused, Spike continued. "Does it look like I'm mad at you?"

Xander squinted up at him thoughtfully. "No, not really. Like you said though, I'm dumb."

Spike sighed. "Are you always going to hear the worst of whatever I say?"

Xander shrugged, looking down. He wasn't sure what Spike wanted. "I asked them to send you. Figured you'd kill me, but I wanted to see you again."

"Come to London with me, Xander." Spike wrapped his arms around the other man. "Come to London and see your friends. Then we'll go someplace with no hellmouth. Just us. Please."

Xander buried his face in Spike's neck. "I don't know why you even want me any more."

"We'll work on that," was Spike's only reply. He kissed the top of Xander's head.


End file.
